Pet Project
by hoagie
Summary: To the Joker, Harley's devotion was nothing more than a joke and the Joke has grown old.
1. A New Weapon

It was such a simple idea, in concept at least, so why was it so difficult to get it to work in the real world? The Joker sat at his desk toiling away at his latest invention. It was a gun that used compressed gases to propel capsules of his Joker Toxin. The capsules were intended to break open when they collided with their target, but unfortunately for the Joker the process of launching the capsules also broke them open well before they made it to their target. The failures of the design wore away at the Joker and he felt his frustration with the weapon build up.

With all his attention focused on the device in front of him the Joker was oblivious to the women who strolled up behind him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. The touch caught the Joker by surprise at first but he recognized who it had come from almost immediately.

"Mr. J, you've been working on that thing for hours. Why don't you have some fun with me."

There was an amorous tone to Harley's words and the Joker knew what she meant by 'have some fun with me', but he ignored her and continued working on his new weapon.

"Come one puddin pretty please" said Harley seductively before she started giving little pecks to his cheek and neck.

The Joker wasn't in the mood; he very rarely was, but especially now that he was so fixated on his new toy. Without bothering to look up from his work the Joker reached out to Harley and gave her a hard shove away from him. Harley nearly toppled over, but the ex gymnast managed to regain her balance before she hit the floor.

"O.K, puddin maybe later" Joker heard her say softly, the hurt and disappointment in her voice was obvious. The Joker continued fiddling with his new toy while his old toy sulked off alone.

That's what she was to him a toy, a pet project he had taken up to keep himself entertained. It was hard enough to fight off boredom when he was free, but when he was locked away in a prison cell it was nothing short of torture for an overly active mind like his. That's' why when he saw the new intern and the way her face and eyes glowed when she looked at him, he knew that this young woman could be a source of entertainment for him, a way to make incarceration bearable. It didn't hurt that the blonde was easy on the eyes either, The Joker typically wasn't motivated by sex, but there was an air about the new doctor that he found attractive.

It was hard work getting a rose into her office but when she confronted him about it he could tell his efforts had been worth it. She was genuinely touched by the gesture even if she acted like it had angered her. From that point on he wore away at her every time they met especially during their therapy sessions, very quickly it became hard to tell who was the doctor and who was the patient. Then one day she confessed to being in love with him, it was a little ahead of schedule but he was pleased none the less. It wasn't that he had feelings for her and he was happy that she returned him. The Joker took pleasure in the fact that he had corrupted her mind into being loyal to him.

Harley proved this loyalty when she broke him out of Arkham dressed as a harlequin clown. The Joker then saw that seducing Harleen Quinzel had done more than just entertain him; it had also provided him with a chance at freedom and a new accomplice.

Although he had never meant for it to happen, Harley stayed with him as his most loyal henchman for several years. He had intended to kill her after a while but never got around to it or succeeded in actually finishing her off. Though he hated to admit it the girl had a few things going for her. For one she was his biggest fan, a narcissist like the Joker had to appreciate someone that fully understood his brilliance. Secondly she understood the dress code; Harley had taken his suggestion and gone with a harlequin alter ego, while the rest of the goons he hired never bothered to dress like clowns and continue the theme he tried to cultivate. Finally on those rare occasions that he felt desire or lust, Harley was always there more than willing to be with him.

The trouble was that several years later his toy had begun to bore him. Harley was a known quantity, she never surprised him and worse yet she wasn't funny to him anymore. When he had first won her over, the Joker found her blind devotion to be hilarious. Now though several years later the Joker didn't care for her any longer and it was painfully obvious to everyone but Harley, who insisted that deep down he really did love her.

The only reason he kept her around was that she was his most dependable and loyal henchmen. Lately though that wasn't good enough for the Joker, her clinginess and demands for attention were really starting to irritate him and he begun to contemplate getting rid of her.

His first thought was to simply kill her, but he quickly thought better of it, just murdering Harley in cold blood wasn't very funny. He liked the idea of driving her away from him now and then bringing her back again for one final joke that would put an end to her and maybe the Bat once and for all.

The problem with that plan was that getting Harley to leave was difficult to say the least. She had always put up with the physical and mental abuse in their relationship, even the few times he had come close to killing her she had always come back to him. So the Joker knew that simply beating her and insulting her would never work. He considered the possibility that it was the occasional acts of kindness he had kept up over the years to strengthen her delusion that he loved her that may have been the reason she stayed with him. So he had stopped doing anything nice for her and stopped having sex with her even when he occasionally felt up to it.

He had kept this up for two months but it hadn't had the desired effect, she still clung to him every chance she got. Giving up on that plan the Joker decided to try something simple, he would just ignore her. Every day Harley tried her hardest to get his attention and approval so he wondered if that he just pretended not hear or see her, if it would drive her away.

After about a week of this new strategy The Joker began to see results. It wasn't obvious but he could see that she was acting differently. Harley wasn't as quite as bubbly as she used to be and even though she still tried to be affectionate with him every day, she gave up easily compared to what she had tried in the past. The Joker knew that it would be a while till she finally left but the plan seemed to be working and he was determined to see it through to the end.


	2. Red

He was doing it again, pretending not to hear her. Coming from anyone else such a childish action would seem ridiculous but coming from the Joker the silent treatment just felt spiteful. Even when she persisted and forced him to acknowledge her, he did nothing more than grunt in annoyance and push her away. Harley wasn't sure exactly when he had started ignoring her but it had been going on for several days now and she didn't like it one bit.

After being pushed away by the Joker, Harley saw that there was nothing for her in the Joker's hideout right then. So she decided to Visit the only other friend she had in the city.

"I'm goin out for a while, alright Puddin" Harley said as she stood by the door.

As she had expected the Joker didn't bother to respond let alone look up from his work. Ignoring her feelings of disappointment, Harley left the building behind her and set out in the direction of Ivy's current home.

Harley knocked on the door several times before Ivy finally answered. The red headed woman had a look of surprise on her face that slowly turned into one of suspicion as she looked at her friend.

"What did he do now" Ivy asked with a cynical tone to her voice.

"Nothing" Harley replied as she stepped into Ivy's home.

"Come on Harley, I know that look, you always look like that when J hurts you. He hasn't his you again has he?"

"No, it's nothing like that."

"Then what's the problem?"

With a shaky voice Harley said "Mr. J started ignoring me, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't look at me, he doesn't even hit me anymore."

"You make that sound like a bad thing, Harl."

"Yeah, well I wish that he would start hitting me again instead of pretending I don't exist."

"You're an idiot" Ivy let out in frustration.

"At least when he's hitting me, he's paying attention to me. This is a thousand times worse."

Ivy walked off towards her kitchen, no longer willing to hear about Harley's bizarre relationship, but Harley just followed after her. The blonde kept speaking the whole way, either oblivious to her friend's disgust or just unwilling to stop venting.

"It makes me think he doesn't love me anymore" Harley whispered while tears began to well up in her eyes."

"I hate to break it to you Harley but he never did."

"You don't understand red, in his own special way he did. I don't know if Mr. J can really have friends, but if he can, I came closer than anyone else and that's good enough for me."

An hour later Harley had begun the walk home, none of her problems had been solved, but talking to her friend had made her feel a little better. As she drew closer and closer to her and the Jokers home she felt a longing to find and embrace the man she loved. The trouble was that the Joker didn't share this desire and he would more than likely push her away and ignore her. Still as she opened the door to their hideout, Harley held onto an illogical hope that he would be happy to see her.

"Harley" she heard the Joker call out as she set foot inside their home. Harley felt her heart flutter at hearing him call out her name, she always felt a rush when he spoke to her, but this was the first time he had addressed her in days and the feelings were even stronger for it.

"Yeah, Mistah J" she answered adoringly

"Can you come to my office for a moment pooh?"

"Sure thing puddin" she said as she moved towards the room he called his office. Harley knew that she was likely walking into one of his childish pranks, but she couldn't care less. The fact that he was paying attention to her again made all of his quirks worth it.

Harley didn't find the Joker in his office but she did find a small vase with a single red rose in it, placed on his desk. The small gesture bowled Harley over; any animosity she felt towards him had already evaporated the instant he had started speaking to her again, but the gift of a single flower had put her in a mindset where her puddin could do no wrong.

"I picked it just for you doll face" Harley heard from behind her.

Spinning round Harley saw the Joker standing in the doorway with his arms stretched out towards her. Seeing that this was one of the Joker's exceedingly rare invitations for her affection, Harley let out one of her squeaking noises that she made when she was truly happy before she ran to him. Feeling his arms close around her, Harley buried her face in his chest and felt content for the first time in days.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you for the last couple of days pooh, but you know what I'm like when I think of a new idea."

Harley felt her heart swell; apologies from Mr. J were even rarer than his affection. Acting on impulse Harley leaned up towards her puddin and planted a kiss on his lips.

"It's ok Mistah J, I'll always forgive you"

After a short while Harley felt the Joker's hold on her loosen, she was disappointed but she understood how hard it was for her puddin to be affectionate.

"Harley, let's go out and have some fun, I don't think we'll have to deal with the Bat tonight."

"Oh, and whys that Mistah J?"

The Joker reached out and cupped Harleys chin with uncharacteristic gentleness before he slowly turned her head to look out a window, in the distance Harley saw that one of Gotham's taller sky scrapers was on fire, the thing that really stuck out to Harley though was the shape the fire had taken on. It appeared that someone had taken great care to only ignite parts of the building. From where she was standing Harley could see that the fire as a whole formed the shape of a giant question mark.

"I think the nerd in the green suit ought to keep Bats busy tonight. Come on Harley lets go make some easy money."

"Right, with ya Mistah J."


End file.
